20 Signs You’re a Fantasy Reader

by | Nov 19, 2013 | Prose and Cons | 14 comments

20 Signs You Are a Fantasy Reader

Books can leave a mark on you, etched in your mind. They can affect the way you think, and leave you different from those around you. Those who read fantasy have their own quirks, developed over years of exposure to talk of magic, wizards, and famous swords.
How many of these apply to YOU?

  1. If someone says “speak, friend, and enter.” You answer “mellon.”
  2. You have a paranoid distrust of statues, expecting them to attack.
  3. Someone mentions that a series has 10+ books in it, and you don’t so much as blink.
  4. You are more likely to name a sword than a horse.
  5. You can tell which of the following doesn’t belong: Dragon, Drake, Wyvern, Wyrm.
  6. You understand magic systems better than modern technologies like like smart phones and 3D printers.
  7. If you hear that a vizier is involved, you immediately assume he is guilty of a treasonous plot.
  8. You’d do better identifying a random assortment of 20 swords than you would properly identifying the elements of a formal dining spread.
  9. You consider a warm cloak to be essential travel gear
  10. Given a choice between a farm boy and a grizzled veteran soldier, you’ll put the world’s fate in the hands of the farm boy.
  11. Any old man with a beard and a pipe is a wizard, and no one can convince you otherwise.
  12. You have held your wedding ring (or any other ring) over a flame to see if runes appear on the inside of the band
  13. You have actually worn or are wearing a ring with elvish runes inside the band.
  14. You have mistakenly expressed a monetary value in fictitious currency.
  15. You know what world you would like to retire to when you’re done adventuring.
  16. Among your circle of friends, everyone assumes they would be the wizard if you were all on a quest.
  17. You are “in the middle of” five or more series.
  18. You know more about geography of someone else’s world than you do about Earth’s.
  19. One or more of your children are named after a character in a story.
  20. You held this list up to the moonlight to see if you were missing any hidden signs.

Can you think of any I forgot or overlooked? I’m sure you can!

14 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Ouch–I answered Yes to more of those than I am willing to admit. I think it may actually be worse if you are also a writer of fantasy. I can think of even more signs, such as being absolutely convinced on a hike that you are being followed…by a tree. And really expecting that someday a stranger will tell you that you are the chosen one and must accept that it is your destiny to save the world. Or is that just me?

    Reply
    • J.S. Morin

      I wonder how many people live their lives as if they might one day be “chosen.” I wonder if it makes them better people.

      Reply
  2. Avatar

    OMG! Yes to #2 ALL statues are the Weeping Angels, you cannot tell me otherwise! And like Blanco admitted, I’ve answered yes to more than I thought I would have.

    Reply
    • J.S. Morin

      This one goes back much farther than Weeping Angels for me. For me and my friends, all statues were some form of golem (usually stone). Preemptive attacks on inanimate objects were commonplace, and it’s not paranoia when you’re right more than half the time.

      Reply
  3. Avatar

    “You have actually worn or are wearing a ring with elvish runes inside the band.”
    Only on the outside

    “You have held your wedding ring (or any other ring) over a flame to see if runes appear on the inside of the band”
    There are.
    “You’d do better identifying a random assortment of 20 swords than you would properly identifying the elements of a formal dining spread.”
    What do you mean not everybody has a sword on their living room wall?

    Reply
    • J.S. Morin

      The stiletto is for the salad course. Cutlasses are best for cheese. Claymores should only be used on red meats.

      Reply
      • Avatar

        And the trident is for the fish course, right?

        Reply
  4. Avatar

    21 You try and convince your spouse that you need a flint and steel set in the car encase of a breakdown.

    Reply
  5. Avatar

    Before number 1, you sort of need ‘you have friends who say ‘Speak, friend, and enter’…

    Reply
  6. Avatar

    12. You have actually carved runes in your wedding ring. Check.

    Reply
    • J.S. Morin

      Nice. On the inside or outside of the band?

      Reply
  7. Avatar

    And everyone stopped reading Dark Tower VII where Mr. King said to stop.

    Reply
  8. Avatar

    NO WEEPING ANGELS!!!

    Reply
  9. Avatar

    Or the vines? We have a LOT of vines in south east Texas.

    Reply

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 20 Signs You’re a Sci-fi Reader | Inside the Inkwell - […] quick disclaimer, I totally lifted the idea from Author J.S.Morrin’s blog post 20 Signs You’re a Fantasy Reader (http://www.jsmorin.com/2013/11/20-signs-youre-fantasy-reader)…

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